


Life Won't Give You A Happy Ending (So Make One Yourself)

by Idontknowcanon (OhMyGodILoveFanfictionFanfictionIsMyLife)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: (sarcasm), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Loki (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Thor: The Dark World, Darcy Lewis Is a Good Bro, Fantastic Racism, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Infinity Stones can be jerks, Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Jane Foster & Loki Friendship, Jane Foster Loves Science, Jane Foster is a Good Bro, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) Wasn't The Bad Guy In Avengers, Mental Health Issues, Mind Control, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, No Smut, Nonconsensual Possession, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Not super dark, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Odin's Bad Parenting (Marvel), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Loki (Marvel), POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Past Mind Control, Past Torture, Possession, Post-Avengers (2012), Sentient Infinity Stones (Marvel), Thor Dies (Marvel), Thor's not really a good person, Untreated Mental Health Issues, but i have big things planned, but they're trying not to be, but when he's dying he acts like one, dont wanna spoil it, dying probably does that to a person, i have lot's of fluff planned, idk why, literally every chapter is gonna have a panic! at the disco lyric, they really do not understand people, yeah this is gonna be a bit dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGodILoveFanfictionFanfictionIsMyLife/pseuds/Idontknowcanon
Summary: On the Dark World Thor dies, leaving Loki and Jane Foster to warn the others and save the Universe. But all is not what it seems.Malekith may not be the bad guy; Odin is a lying liar and terrible father; Jane loves science; Darcy is cool with anything; Erik is done; and Loki is confused and tired.Also featuring; Sentient Infinity Stones, and a Loki who really doesn't want to be a host for them.(NEW VERSION)
Relationships: Darcy Lewis & Loki, Jane Foster & Loki, Loki & Erik Selvig
Comments: 18
Kudos: 96





	1. Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So I have been working on the new and improved version of this story. As a result, it is very different. I have so far chapter 2 done and working my way through chapter 3. Chapter 2 will be posted on the 12 of December around 1pm EST.
> 
> Some warnings; Character Death, Mental Health Issues, and Blood. Those are the only warnings I can think of for this chapter, so if I need to warn for anything else just comment it and I will.

He ran. 

He had let the monster kill his- not mother,  _ never _ was his mother- mother, he  _ refused _ to let it kill his Brother. 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to kill the thing with his daggers, or a sword of any kind. He had seen it  _ deflect Mjolnir  _ with its _ armor _ , he couldn’t pierce its skin with any normal weapon.

He only had his seidr, his tongue, and his mind. He had worked with much less. 

He grabbed one of the bombs the monster had thrown at Doctor Foster. He may not be able to pierce the skin, but he knew it would not survive a black hole. 

Thor was losing, and he felt panic rise in his chest, Thor  _ never _ lost. Thor couldn’t die- 

A howl of pain took him abruptly out of his musing, that was Thor’s voice. No-  _ no _ . 

Without thinking he detonated the grenade and threw it at the monster. It whipped around attempting to knock it off its course, but it was too slow. The grenade exploded, turning the monster inside out, then into nothing. 

Loki dropped down onto his kneeled next to Thor, there was blood seeping sluggishly through his chest plate, where a rock had pierced through it. 

“You idiot,” he heard himself say. 

Thor attempted to laugh, but only managed to cough up blood. 

Loki pushed him down, he wasn’t very good at healing magic, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. 

“You will live,” he stated, placing his hands on the wound, “you better live, or I’ll drag you from Valhalla myself.” He pushed his seidr into the wound, gritting his teeth. 

Thor smiled meekly, “It is alright Brother, I will be with Mother.”

“ _ No _ Thor, you will stay in the land of the living for thousands of more years.  _ Then _ you will see Mother.”

Thor shook his head, grabbing his arm, “Save your magic, you will need it.”

Loki shook his head numbly, “I will not let you die today.”

“‘Tis… alright,” Thor slurred, his eyes drooping, “I have… died in battle. A warrior’s death. I will… be alright.”

“No Thor,” Loki shook him, “Don’t close your eyes.  _ Don _ ’ _ t close them _ .”

Thor smiled, red pooling in his mouth, and gripped Loki’s arm, “I will… say hello… to Mother… for you.”

“No, you will not say  _ anything _ to Mother, because you are staying here.”

Thor’s eyelids fell, and his arm went limp. 

“No. No, no, no, no, no,  _ no _ ,” Loki pushed more of his seidr into Thor’s wound. Thor didn’t move, “ _ No _ -”

He reached a shaking hand up to feel Thor’s pulse, nothing.  _ No _ -

This wasn’t supposed to happen, Loki was supposed to die. Be it by the Titan’s hand or someone else's. Thor was supposed to live, to go off with Doctor Foster and celebrate. But no, the Norns had a cruel sense of humor. 

He leaned back, raising his head to the sky. It was cloudy, perhaps because of Thor, but now the clouds were dissipating. The sky becoming clear. He believed he heard Doctor Foster crying behind him, but he wasn’t sure, as everything felt far away.

It felt like an instant. One second he was sitting in front of Thor, the next he had gotten him in the ship. He shook his head. Now was not the time to lose his memories. 

He saw Doctor Foster sitting as far away as she could from Thor (Thor’s body.), which was right next to where the ship’s steering is. He then walked over to the steering, sitting, and turned to face her. “Do you have any idea where Malekith could have gone?”

She flinched, glancing towards him. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her face was flushed. He wondered if he looked like that, it hadn’t felt like he had been crying, but he wasn’t so sure since he had lost his memory. “I think he was going to Earth,” Her voice was hoarse, it made sense if she had been crying.

He nodded going to pilot the ship.

“Wait-” She said, “do you know how to get to Earth?”

“Yes.” 

“Oh,” she looked down at her hands, “okay then.”

He steered the ship past the gray ash-like ground, he wondered how there was so much ash. He knew he could not believe Asgard’s tale of how the Dark Elves were defeated, so he supposed he would have to find out himself. He wasn’t sure where he could find an account of the Battle of Svartalfheim that wasn’t tainted by Asgard. 

He searched for a crack in the Universe, one that would allow him to travel to Midgard. He could teleport there, but he was afraid of scaring Doctor Foster. She was the only person who could tell others what had happened, as no one would believe him. She was also the only person who would talk to him.

“What do you know about me?” He asked as a way of making conversation. He had not spoken to anyone besides Moth- Frigga, and she was attempting to manipulate him for over a year. So he supposed he could talk to Doctor Foster. 

She shrugged, “Thor didn’t tell me anything, and Erik didn’t want to talk about it.”

He winced, most of his memories from his invasion were blurry, a side effect of having the Mind Stone used on you, even if The Other had barely used it on him. But, he did remember taking the scientist because he remembered him from when he sent the Destroyer to Midgard; he was one of Thor’s friends, and he wanted to hurt Thor. 

He shook his head, attempting to clear his head, “What of the stories?”

“The mythologies?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know, they sounded very different from what Thor  _ had _ told me.”

He nodded again, “They are very inaccurate.” 

“So,” she began, and of  _ course _ she was going to ask  _ that _ question.

“No, I did not give birth to a horse,” he interrupted, why Midgardians thought that story was funny was beyond him. 

“I was going to ask if the wedding story was true,” she said.

“Oh,” he smirked, “it is  _ very _ true.”

“Thor dressed up as a woman to get his hammer back? And Thrym thought he was a woman?”

“Yes, though Thrym was not the name of the man who said he had Mjölnir.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes, it was some farmer who had wanted glory for saying he had stolen it.”

“He didn’t?”

He shook his head, “No, only Thor and Odin can pick up Mjölnir, well could in Thor’s case.”

She flinched at the mention of Thor’s death, “So how did Thor believe him?”

“Thor,” he paused, “was drunk.”

She laughed a bit hysterically, “Oh, yeah, that makes sense.”

He glanced at her, “If he was sober, he would have also believed the man.”

“I don’t think he would,” She said certainly.

He shrugged and didn’t say anything. She had only known Thor for such a little time, he did not blame her for not knowing how Thor acts- acted. 

He felt his magic spike, there was a crack here. It was less used than the ones on Asgard, so the trip through this portal would be less smooth.

He relayed this information to Doctor Foster.   
  


“‘Less smooth?” she asked. 

He grinned, no one had ever asked him how the cracks in the Universe worked before. “There are cracks in the Universe, I am not sure how they were created, or even if they are natural, but they allow you to transport yourself, others, or things, to another planet. 

Traveling through them requires much magic if you have never used them before. But, the longer you have used them the less magic they require. The same goes for if the trip is smooth or bumpy. The longer you use the path, the less bumpy it is.”

“But what’s the science behind it?”

“May I answer that question in a moment? I have to open the portal.”

“Oh yeah, okay.”

He closed his eyes, and let his magic flow through him and to the crack. It lit up, glowing all of the colors that existed. The portal split open with a  _ crack _ , and he opened his eyes. 

“Woah.” He heard Doctor Foster mutter.

He piloted the ship towards the crack- now a portal. 

“Hold onto something!” he yelled over the thunderous crackling of the portal. 

He wasn’t sure if Doctor Foster ever did since he had driven the ship into the portal. 

He felt reality warp around them, and he squashed down the panic of falling. He was controlling the ship towards Midgard, flashing colors of the rainbow around him,  _ not _ falling endlessly through the colorless Void. (Then to land on the Chitauri homeworld. And then  _ pain pain pain pain _ -)

The ship landed with a thud, tearing the grass in its wake. He pulled the ship away from a lake in front of them, tearing up more of the grass. The ship shuddered and groaned, and then fell silent with a  _ creak _ . 

“That,” Doctor Foster said, “was awesome.”

He glanced at her, “really?”

“Yeah, you  _ have _ to tell me how that works.”

He nodded, “I will.”

Glancing around his surroundings he cast a quick spell to determine where they were.  _ Norway _ . He believed that this was where the mythologies about him came to fruition. 

“Where are we?” Doctor Foster asked.

“Norway,” he replied.

“Oh. Wait- how do you know that?”

“Magic.”

“You’re going to have to explain  _ all _ of your ‘magic’ to me.”

He smirked, “With pleasure. Now, do you know where on Midgard Malekith could be?”

She shook her head, “No, but I do have friends who could help us.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Where are they?”

“London, England,” she paused, “you probably don’t know where that is.”

“No, I do.”

“Oh great. Yeah, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to tell you how to get to England without a map.”

He let his magic flow towards his hands, his magic supply was dwindling, he would have to use it sparingly. 

“Teleporting this way is less strenuous than teleporting using the cracks in the Universe, but it can be a bit nauseating if you had never done this before.”

She nodded, “To teleport do we have to be touching?”

“No.”

“I guess science fiction got it wrong.”

“Not exactly,” he started, “when you learn to teleport other people or objects, you have to touch them, but if you advance farther in magic you can learn to teleport other people or objects without touching them.”

“I feel like I’m going to say this a lot, but you need to tell me how your magic works. This is stuff scientists have been working on for decades!”

Loki shrugged, “Are you ready to go now?” 

“Yeah.”

He thought of the place he wished to travel to, London, England, and in a flash of green light, they were there.

Doctor Foster glanced around. “Are we really in London?” she asked.

“You may go ask someone if you wish.” She did.

She walked back, “So we  _ are _ in London.”

“Yes. Now could you show me where your friends are?”

She nodded, “Yeah, let me get a taxi.”

_ Taxi _ ?  _ What in the Nine Realms is a taxi _ . He thought as Doctor Foster ran into the street yelling for a ‘taxi’.

Though apparently, a ‘taxi’ was a small black automobile, Doctor Foster had managed to get one to stop and was now waving towards him.

He slipped an illusion over himself, it would be quite mad to alert the Avengers before he had even defeated Malekith. He stopped in front of the open automobile door, glancing at Doctor Foster.

“Get in,” she said.

He slid into the automobile, grabbing and closing the door.

“Where to?” The driver of the automobile asked.

“One B Southwark Street, please,” Doctor Foster replied. 

The drive was uneventful, as Loki did no longer wish to talk. He wasn’t sure why he did not wish to speak, perhaps it was grief. 

The mention of grief sent flashes of Thor’s death through his mind, he had gotten his Mother and Brother killed in forty-eight hours. (Though he wasn’t sure on the time-line, as he had lost track of time in his grief.)

He sighed and stared out the window, after he defeated Malekith what would he do? He had the ever-pressing concerns about getting away from the Titan, but other than that, there was nothing. He could spend the rest of his days running from the TItan, but he was tired,  _ very _ tired, of having someone dictate how he lived. 

_ He could always stay on Midgard _ , a small voice in his head suggested. 

He could, but he is now a criminal on Midgard, he would have to keep running.

_ What if Jane Foster asked you to stay with her _ ? The voice asked, and- would he?

Doctor Foster did wish to learn how his magic worked, and he would be happy to explain. But after that? What if she tells the Avengers? What if she truly hates him for what he has done? What if-

_ You will only have to find out _ , the voice said, and  _ Norns _ that voice was annoying. Though, isn’t the voice his thoughts? It didn’t feel like his thoughts, but he wasn’t sure. But if Doctor Foster did ask for him to stay, he is sure he might say yes. 

“We’re here,” The driver said, and Loki blinked, he had been lost in his thoughts for a longer time than he thought.

“How much?” Doctor Foster asked the man. 

“Five pounds and twenty pence.”

Doctor Foster glanced down at her clothes and ruffled through her pockets. “ _ Shit _ .” He heard her murmur.

She leaned over and whispered, “Can you use your magic to get us some money?”

He blinked again, “Isn’t that illegal?” He whispered back.

She shrugged, “It’s only five pounds and twenty pence”

He nodded slowly and materialized the correct amount of money in his hand.

She looked wide-eyed at the money, “Okay, you’re going to show me how that works first.”

He nodded again and gave the money to the driver, and opened the door of the automobile, stepping out. Doctor Foster followed him out, closing the door.

He turned around to face the building behind him, “Is this where your friends are?”

“Yeah, I hope they’re here,” She said, making her way towards the house.

He followed, “There is a chance they are not here?”

“I haven’t seen Erik in a while, so Darcy should be here.”

He stopped, “Are you sure I should go in there?”

“Yeah, why?”   
  


“If Doctor Selvig is there I may cause unnecessary conflict.”

“If Erik is there I’ll explain it to him.”

_ It _ ? He thought watching Doctor Foster continue to the house. He glanced around the property, it would be worse for Doctor Selvig than for him, and yet he could not face the man he had put under the Scepter’s control. He knew how terrible it was to be under the Scepter’s control, yet he put others through that misery too.

He sighed and followed Doctor Foster into the house, hoping Doctor Selvig wasn’t there.


	2. Do You Know What I'm Seeing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all for the support of this new version! 
> 
> Some warnings: Implied torture

He was.

“What the HELL is HE doing here!” Doctor Selvig yelled, pointing at him. 

“Hey it’s okay he’s gonna help us,” Doctor Foster reasoned.

“With what?” Doctor Selvig asked skeptically.

“Well, there are these other aliens that are called the Dark Elves and they have this thing called the Aether that they want to use to destroy the Universe, and they’re coming to Earth.”

“Then why isn’t Thor here.”

Doctor Foster paused, so Loki decided to fill in for her. “Thor is dead.”

“What?” What!” Doctor Selvig and (who Loki presumed was) Darcy said at the same time.

“Did  _ you _ kill him?” Doctor Selvig demanded. 

Loki grits his teeth, “No, I did not kill him.”

“Then who did?”

“The Dark Elves,” Doctor Foster responded. 

Doctor Selvig huffed but didn’t say anything.

“These Dark Elf guys must be pretty strong if they killed Thor,” Darcy noted.

Doctor Foster nodded, “They attacked Asgard and killed the Queen.”

“Seriously?” Darcy asked.

“Yeah.”

Darcy glanced at him, “Sorry.”

He blinked (again), he had expected hostility, not  _ pity _ , “I- thank you.”

She shrugged, “Yeah, no problem.” 

Doctor Selvig turned to Doctor Foster. “A word.” And turned around, walking out of the room.

“Alright,” She sighed, following after him.

He hadn’t heard what they said, but when they walked out a few minutes later he believed they agreed on something.

“We have to find where Malekith is heading,” Doctor Foster pointed out.

He nodded. 

“Do you have an idea?”

He shook his head, “No, I am not that well versed in Earth’s geography.”

“Erik?” She inquired, turning her gaze to the other doctor.

“Yeah, I have an idea.” He said, clearing the table and placing a map onto it. He grabbed a marker and circled a few locations on the map. “Five thousand years ago, our ancestors experienced the Convergence, and they left markers.” He pointed to the circled areas. “And if we connect all of them-” he drew lines between them- “we can find where Malekith will appear.” He pointed the marker to the middle. “He’ll be in Greenwich.”

“Well then, we’re going to Greenwich,” Loki stated. 

“Isn’t that, like, really far away?” Darcy asked.

“No?” Doctor Selvig said slowly.

Doctor Foster shook her head. “Sorry, they teach geography horribly in America.”

“No wonder.” He muttered, folding the map up, “Greenwich is only thirty minutes from here if we drive,” He said louder.

“Well,” Doctor Foster glanced at him, and suddenly he knew what she was going to say, “Loki can teleport.”

Everyone turned to him.

“Really?” Darcy asked, “‘Cause that would be pretty cool.”

“I can teleport, though I am not sure what it has to do with temperature.” He did know that when she used the term ‘cool’ she was not speaking of the temperature, but it was always fun to pretend to be confused about the nuances of words.

She looked confused, “No, I meant like awesome or neat or whatever they use in Space-Viking land.”

“Oh,” He said and made himself look as confused as possible, “Thank you.”

“No problem, I guess?”

Doctor Foster sighed, “Can you just teleport us to Greenwich?”

“Where in Greenwich?” He asked.

“The University of Greenwich,” Doctor Selvig answered, looking uneasy.

“Teleporting may be a bit nauseating, so be aware when we land you will not feel well.”

They all nodded, so Loki began to gather his magic and thought of the place he wanted to go. In an instant, they were there.

“Woah,” Darcy said, glancing around.

“Yeah.” A man that Loki did not know agreed.

“When will this Malekith guy appear?” Darcy asked after a few moments.

“I don’t-” Doctor Foster was cut off by the appearance of Malekith’s ship. Doctor Foster glared at Darcy. “You had to say something.”

“Hey!” 

Doctor Foster turned to him, “What’s your plan.”

“I will attempt to reason with Malekith,” He said confidently. 

“What!” She exclaimed, “He got Thor and the Queen killed, and you’re gonna  _ talk _ to him!?”

He nodded, “Yes.”

“This is a terrible plan.”

“Not really,” Darcy said, they all turned to her, “I study political science, I know things.”

Doctor Foster sighed.,“Alright.” She turned to him.,“Don’t get killed.”   
  


He froze (Is that possible? He is a Frost Giant.) was Doctor Foster being kind or was she just pretending to be to get something from him? She had said she wanted to know how his magic worked multiple times, so perhaps it was the latter. But what if it was the former? What would he do if Doctor Foster does care about his well being? He would have to leave. Yes, he would have to leave. He can not have anyone to care about. Sentiment is a weakness others can use against you.

_ As the Mad Titan did _ , a dark part of his mind whispered. 

No,  _ no _ . He can’t allow anyone else to go through the pain he went through with the Mad Titan. He can’t- he  _ can’t _ . 

_ But that  _ **_is_ ** _ sentiment _ . And Norns it is and-  _ painpainpainpainpainpain _ -

“Loki!” Doctor Foster shouted.

He blinked and took a step back,“Wha-”

She looked concerned, “You zoned out a bit.”

He nodded, “Oh.”

“Are you alright?”

“Perfectly fine.” She looked skeptical so he added, “I have to go save the Universe now.” And left. It was a cowardly way out of a conversation, but he did not care, he didn’t want to talk about his time with the Mad Titan.

As he made his approach to the ship he saw Malekith and felt a wave of red hot fury rise. He took a deep breath, he cannot be angry. 

“Malekith.” He proclaimed once he had gotten close enough to the ship.

“Loki of Jotunheim.” (And he tried not to flinch at the title.)

“I have come to ask why you wish to turn the Universe into darkness.”

Malekith frowned, “Why?”

He scowled, “I must have all the information before I make a conclusion.”

“Fine. I wish to turn the Universe back to its original form because my kin cannot breathe  _ oxygen _ .” He said the last word with so much disdain Loki has ever heard directed at it. 

He smiled, inviting but cold, “Perhaps we can come to an arrangement, then.”

Malekith titled his head, “And what will that be?” 

“I will allow you to use the Aether on  _ your  _ Realm, so you will be able to breathe.”

“But?”

He smirked. “There is no but.”

Malekith scowled. “What kind of trick is this?”

“No trick, you get to save your race and keep the Aether.”

“I,” Malekith began, “do not believe you.” Malekith used the Aether to shoot a blast of energy towards him. In a moment of panic, he grabbed the Aether 

and 

it 

turned

solid.

Malekith looked at him with an expression of anger and confusion, and Loki took that opportunity to pull the Aether towards him. 

Malekith looked down to see the Aether being pulled out of him and grabbed on the other end, pulling towards him.

Loki grit his teeth and pulled harder, but Malekith did too.

He used his magic to increase his strength, and suddenly he felt a foreign presence enter his body. 

The Aether. 

  
He believes the correct Midgardian term to us in this situation is  _ shit _ .


	3. Conspire Aganist The Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki defeats Malekith and heads to Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3!!!
> 
> warnings: panic attacks, mental health issues, character death, a lot of bad stuff. 
> 
> also i haven't edited this chapter yet, so there's gonna be mistakes.
> 
> also also, i have chap 4 planned for jan 9, but idk if it will be out by then, so stay tuned.

* * *

The Aether did have an added benefit of being an Infinity Stone (Or so Loki thinks, as it’s presence is very reminiscent of the Tesseract and the Mind Stone.) and increased his strength tenfold.

He stumbled back as the Aether shot itself out of Malekith’s body and into his. 

“How!” Malekith yelled.

Loki shrugged and allowed the Aether to glow around him, “Though I think it would be best to come to an arrangement.”

Malekith glowered. “Fine,” He spat out. 

“Great,” He said, false cheerfully, “Now if we can just go to-” 

The surroundings changed suddenly, the once green of Midgard there was now the gray of Svartalfheim.

“Svartalfheim,” He finished glancing around.

“How do you know how to control the Aether?” Malekith asked.

He bared his teeth, “I’ve had an experience with the Infinity Stones before.”

“Why did you bring us here?” Malekith questioned.

“To make your Realm liveable for your race.”

Malekith seemed skeptical but he didn’t say anything.

_Allow me to help_ , a voice in his head said, Loki was sure that hadn’t been there a minute ago. 

Loki felt the control of his limbs fade, and panicked. He pushed back, attempting to regain control of his limbs, but it didn’t budge.

_Please stop resisting_ , the voice said, and Loki resisted more.

He refused to let someone else control him, but he couldn’t- he couldn’t-

He felt himself slowly losing consciousness, but he couldn’t- he _can’t_ \- _please not again pleasepleasepleaseplease_ -

He suddenly got pushed to the forefront of his mind and blinked. He was no longer on Svartalfheim.

“Loki!” Someone called. 

He glanced around looking for the voice. He was no longer at the University of Greenwich, he was in a forest.

“Loki!” They called again. 

He heard the rustling of leaves, and suddenly Doctor Foster appeared, flanked by Doctor Selvig, Darcy, and the man he hadn’t gotten the name of.

Doctor Foster sighed. “You’re okay.”

He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You were gone for hours!” Darcy yelled.

“Malekith did also attack you with the Aether and then you two disappeared.” Doctor Foster added. 

He picked at his hands. “I am sorry for upsetting you, I had not meant to leave for hours.”

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Darcy said. “Now what happened?”

“I had attempted to reason with Malekith, but it did not work and he attacked me. The Aether then teleported us to Svartalfheim where I was able to reason with him.” He left out the part where the Aether infused itself into him, he was sure that was not going to go over well.

_I think you underestimate them_ . The voice said, and _Norns_ Loki hated that voice.

_Why do you hate me_? It asked. 

_Because you infused yourself with me and then possessed me_ ! _I believe I have a valid reason_! He yelled at it.

_I am sorry_. It said.

“Loki, you good?” Darcy asked, and Doctor Foster elbowed her.

“I believe what Darcy is trying to ask is, are you alright? You zoned out for a bit.”

“I am fine.” He lied. 

Doctor Foster nodded and shuffled her one foot to the other. “Um,” she started, “what is going to happen to Thor?”

_Oh, he’d forgotten_. “I will take him to Asgard, where I believe Odin will hold a funeral for him.”

“And after?”

He shrugged. “I am not sure.”

“You could stay at my house. You did promise to tell me how your magic works.”

_So it was the latter_. He thought bitterly.

_It isn’t_. It voiced.

But Loki was sure it was, he would not have any random voice telling him what to think. 

_What even is the voice_? He speculated.

_‘I am Reality or as you like to call me, the Aether,’_ It- the Aether- Reality answered.

_Oh_ , **_oh_ **. 

“I have to go to Asgard now,” He said quickly, teleporting away before they could say anything.

He landed on the skiff with a thud, teleporting while distracted is not a good idea. He ignored Thor (corpse) going to the steering of the ship.

He reached for his magic and felt it flow through him, bringing him to Asgard’s throne room immediately. He was sure he had _not_ that much magic before… 

The skiff skidded across the floor with a _screech_. 

“Loki.”

“Odin.”

Odin pointed Gungir at him, “Why are you here?”

He sneered, “Because your precious firstborn is _dead_.”

“ _What_ ,” he growled.

He jumped out of the skiff, “If you do not believe me,” he kicked the skiff, sending it towards Odin, “see for yourself.”

Odin glanced inside the skiff but averted his eyes. 

_Maybe Odin does care about his children_ , he thought sardonically, _but one is dead and the other doesn’t care_. 

Odin shook his head, seemingly in disappointment, “I knew you were always jealous,” he paused, “but I never believed you would go to these lengths.”

_That_ **_bastard_ ** . He thought viciously. Odin thought he killed Thor because he was _jealous_. Odin thought- he- 

Loki saw _red_ , and he lashed out, not caring. A slice of red cut into Odin, and he fell limp.

_He fell limp_ . _He fell limp._ He- He- _he killed him_ . He killed _Odin_ . He killed his _last family member_. 

_You’ve killed_ **_every_ ** _family member_ , the voice in his head that sounded like the Titan said. And he _did_. He killed Laufey. He killed Frigga. He killed Thor. He killed Odin. He’s killed every family member he knows, he- he can’t breathe-

_‘Hey, hey calm down_ !’ Reality yelled. Was it Reality? Was it the Titan? _Is the Titan here?_

_He’s back on the Chitauri Homeworld, and Maw is digging through his memories- and the Titan asks him where the Tesseract is but he won’t tell him- The Other is touching him- and he has to fight- and painpainpainpainpainpain_ **_painpainpain_ **-

He sucked in a breath of air and felt numb. His emotions felt like they were pushed to the back of his mind. No, he couldn’t _feel_ . He knew he should be panicking but he _couldn’t_. 

_‘Sorry,_ ’ Reality said, _‘I had to dull your emotions.’_

_‘Why?’_ he asked.

_‘I didn’t know what to do,’_ Reality sounded… sheepish? He didn’t know an Infinity Stone could feel emotions. 

_‘Well I would like my emotions back,’_ he attempted to sound sarcastic, but it fell flat.

_‘Not yet.’_

_‘Not yet?’_ he asked, confused. (Well, as confused as he could be.)

_‘Once we give your emotions back to you, you will fall into a panic. We cannot have that.’_

_‘We?’_

Reality fell silent, and he mentally poked at them. They did not answer. He sighed glancing around the room.

It was empty, well, besides him, the skiff, and Odin’s corpse. He felt no sense of guilt, sadness, or any emotion to go with the thought of Odin’s corpse. 

_Corpse- corpse- corpse- corpse-_

Nothing. No emotions, just numbness. 

A dark portal burst into life near Odin’s prone form, steadily growing in size. Yet Loki felt no panic, no fear as the portal grew and grew until it was sizable enough for an Aesir to walk through.

And one did.

A woman with hair dark as his own and an even darker set of armor. She had silver knee-high boots, like Sif’s, and a cloth skirt that stopped right at the knee. Her armor appeared to be mostly made out of leather, with only the metal being on her shoulders and covering her arms. Behind her flowed a pale cape, contrasting greatly against the black of her chest piece. 

She glanced around the room, taking the scene in. Three people, two of them dead, one of them in a skiff. Surely an interesting sight.

“So,” she began, “Odin’s dead.” She sighed melancholy, “I truly wish I was here to see it.” She then glanced at him, “Did you kill him?”

“Yes,” he said numbly, wishing he could express _any_ emotion.

“Well thank you,” she said grabbing Gungnir off the ground, twirling it in her hand, “I suppose I could make you my second in command.”

“Who are you?” he asked.

She paused, “Did the old man never tell you?” he shook his head and she sighed, straightening up, “I am Hela, Odin’s firstborn and heir to the throne.”

He nodded, “Alright.” 

She blinked, “You are just going to accept that?”

He titled his head, “Odin has told many lies, the truth does not faze me any longer.”

“That perhaps makes it easier then.” 

“What easier?”

“I will follow in Odin’s legacy and-”

“No,” he said, harsh.

“‘No’?”

“Odin conquered the Nine Realms and bathed them in blood, his legacy is not the best to follow.”

“What do you want me to do then?” she asked harshly, “As Odin once told me I am nothing but a weapon, bringing death and destruction everywhere I go.”

“He said that to you too?” he said, straying away from the conversation.

She scoffed, “I believe he said that to me first. But what have you done to gain Odin telling you such.”

“I attempted to use the Bifrost to destroy Jotunheim, and then attempted to conqueror Midgard,” he cursed himself for telling her this, but along with his emotions his impulse control was gone. Well, it certainly makes sense, emotions can control actions, which cause hesitancy, but without them, there is no need for hesitance. 

She blinked, again, at his bluntness, “It seems Odin is a bigger hypocrite than I imagined.”

“Yes, he is. That is why you cannot follow his legacy.”

She huffed, “And what if I do not care to listen to you?”

If he still had his emotions no doubt would he be feeling frustration bubbling up to the surface, “What would continuing Odin’s legacy do?”

She paused, obviously having not thought through that part.

He continued before she could answer, “It seems you do not care for Odin, yet you plan to continue his legacy. If you continue his legacy of bloodshed you will become exactly what he called you. You will prove him right. Do you _truly_ wish to become exactly like Odin believed you to be?”

]She frowned, “I- I suppose I don’t,” she said hesitantly.

“So you see there is no point to continue Odin’s legacy,” he reached out, metaphorically, “if you do the opposite of what Odin had done, it will be the biggest insult to him.” 

Hela plopped down onto the stairs of the throne dropping Gungnir, the sound of metal on metal raking against his ears. She dropped her head in her hands, he does not know where Hela was or for how long, but apparently this had never occured to here.

_‘See,’_ Reality said, _‘look! With your emotions you would have never been able to do that!’_

_'I would have managed. Oh, and thank you for your confidence,’_ he said drily, of course, it didn’t translate well and sounded flat. He would have to get better at speaking with his thoughts.

He walked over and patted her shoulder, “I am sorry.” What for? He doesn’t know, but he does believe it is appropriate to apologize to someone when they are upset. 

After a moment she scrubbed at her eyes and sat up, eyeing him, “Who are you?”

“Loki,” he answered.

“Do you not either have a parent or a place?” she asked, confused.

“No, I do not, and I do not want your pity. I am fine the way it is.” _Was he though? Was he fine with it?_

She picked up Gungnir and stood, “Well as the new Queen of Asgard, you are welcome anytime.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I will not be returning to Asgard anytime soon. Though,” he glanced around, “when are you holding the funerals?”

She shrugged, “First I must cement my standing as the Queen, then I will hold the funerals. Perhaps two weeks time.”

He thought for a moment, “I have three requests,” he attempted, “firstly I wish to be invited to the funerals; secondly do not attempt to maim or kill anyone, Aesir or not; and thirdly I wish to be free of my crimes.”

She raised an eyebrow, “And why should I care for your wishes?”

He smirked, though rather numbly, “I believe Odin had not disowned me yet, publicly of course, so I am still a Prince of Asgard,” he paused, “Crown Prince of Asgard now, actually.” 

A look of shock passed her face, though she quickly smothered it, “Hm, I thought you looked familiar.”

“How so?” he asked.

She tilted her head, “Do you not see it? We look very similar to each other.”

He shrugged, “I suppose.”

“Well then, Brother-” she said the last word with extra care- “I suppose I’d think about your requests.”

He inclined his head, “Thank you.” and began walking down the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Hela asked after a moment.

He paused for a moment and turned around, “Leaving Asgard.” 

She frowned but didn’t say anything else, so he walked out of the Throne Room and towards his old room, he needed to collect some things.

_‘No!’_ Reality yelled, _‘We have to get Space!’_

_‘Space?’_ he asked, _‘You do not mean the Tesseract do you?’_

_‘Yes! Space! Space! Space!’_

He grit his teeth, _‘I cannot take another Infinity Stone-’_

_‘SPACE! SPACE! SPACE!’_ Reality yelled louder, causing him to flinch.

_‘Fine! I’ll get the damn Tesseract. But,’_ he began, _‘I will only get the Tesseract if you give me my emotions back.’_

Reality seemed as though they mentally huffed, but they obliged to the request as Loki felt a surge of emotions crashing over him.

He fell to his knees, yet he didn’t feel it. The sharp contrast of feeling nothing to feeling everything robbed him of his senses. 

_‘Please calm down,’_ Reality said, _‘we have to get Space’_

He took a sharp intake of breath and held it for a few seconds then blew it out. He did that a few more times until his emotions felt a bit more manageable. He rose to his feet, brushing off his pants, and turned away from the direction of the Tesseract.

_‘Where are you going? This isn’t the way!’_ Reality yelled indignantly.

_‘I am not going to get the Tesseract.’_ He said firmly.

_‘NO!’_ Reality screeched, he flinched and brought his hands to his ears as if he could quiet the screaming, _‘NO! NO! Get Space! NOW! SPACE! GET! NOW!’_

_‘NO!’_ he yelled back, _‘I will not have you telling me what to do!’_

_‘Fine then,’_ Reality said sharply, in a way he didn’t know was possible- 

Reality pushed to the forefront of his mind, taking control of his limbs and pushing him into unconsciousness.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr for writing updates:
> 
> https://idontknowcanonswriting.tumblr.com


	4. Waffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wakes up and eats waffles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much no plot, kinda just fluff. Tho next chapter will will be kinda getting into the plot. IDK, i have a huge google doc with like half of the story planned out, so like this is gonna be very long.
> 
> also sorry for how long it took to get this out, as you know there are ~things~ happening, and I didn't have the energy to write, but here's a 1.2k words chapter
> 
> also also, not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I have decided i'm gonna be posting updates on Saturdays around 1pm est
> 
> (follow me on tumbler: https://idontknowcanonswriting.tumblr.com/ for writing updates)

Light shined into his eyes and he grabbed the pillow behind his head and covered his face.

_I should’ve closed the curtains last night,_ he thought tiredly.

_What are you talking about?_ A voice asked and-

_The coronation- The Void- Sanctuary- Midgard- Prison- Svartalfheim- Midgard (again)- Asgard-_ **_Reality_ **.

He shot up, pillow falling from his face.

_‘What have you_ **_done_ ** _,’_ he said angrily.

_‘I only got Space and a place to stay,’ Reality said innocently._

_‘Hello again,’_ another voice said, _‘I have missed you.’_

_‘The Tesseract,’_ he said bitterly.

He could feel the Tesseract smirking, _‘Correct, though I go by Space.’_

He frowned, glancing around. The bed he was sitting on was very soft, with cotton sheets gathered on his lap. The bedsheets were a creamy color, matching the pillows. The blankets at the foot of the bed were a tangerine color.

_An odd color for a bedspread_ , he thought, glancing at the windows, the curtains were of the same color, _a theme then_. Contrasting against the curtains were hot pink walls, and he scowled, clearly whoever designed this room was blind. 

_‘Doctor Foster isn’t blind!’_ Reality defended.

_So he is at Doctor Foster’s house,_ _he doesn’t know how Reality managed it_. 

_‘How have you done that?’_ he asked. 

_‘Reality just promised not to harm anyone, and they seemed fine with it,’_ Space answered, _‘well not Doctor Selvig.’_

_‘I must ask,’_ he said after a moment, _‘why is Space here?’_

_‘He doesn’t know?’_ Space “whispered”. 

_‘Shush, he doesn’t_ **_need_ ** _to know yet,’_ Reality “whispered” back. 

_‘Know what?’_ he asked. 

_‘Nothing!’_ they both answered. 

He frowned, they were hiding something from him. But his stomach rumbled, so he chose to ignore it for a moment. He pushed the blankets off himself and got up, he glanced at the two doors in the room. One was definitely the exit, the other was perhaps a bathroom or a closet. 

He chose the door that he was closest to. 

It was a bathroom. He sighed and decided since he was already here he might as well use it.

While washing his hands with the strange soap that came from a bottle, he glanced at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look _terribly_ bad. His hair was a mess, though. Casting an illusion over himself he walked out of the bathroom and opened the other door. It led him to a hallway, which was much more bland than his room. With cream walls and dark wood floors.

The hallway led him to a kitchen where Doctor Foster sat hunched over a book. He went to leave her be, but she glanced up in time to see him.

“Hey Loki,” she said.

He inclined his head, “Hello Doctor Foster.” 

“You can just call me Jane,” she said quickly, “and um, would you like anything to eat?”

He thought for a moment, “What are some Midgardian breaking-fast foods?”

“Do you mean breakfast?” she said slowly.

He nodded.

She gestured towards her kitchen, “I have cereal, toast, and waffles.”

He smothered a grin, she had waffles! He hadn’t eaten any since his last trip to Midgard, which was almost a century ago. “Do you have any waffles with the chocolate inside of them?” he asked.

“Yeah, we have chocolate chip,” she stood up and opened the refrigerator (he believed). She pulled out a yellow box and paused, “Do you know how to use a toaster?”

He _did_ know how to use a toaster, but with how fast Midgard changes he is not sure if it is the same process. Besides, if Doctor- Jane was allowing him to stay here, setting the place on fire, even accidentally, would not be a good way to repay her. So, he shook his head, “I have never used a _toaster_ before.”

“Oh, okay then,” she took two waffles out of the box and motioned towards a small gray appliance, “that is the toaster.” 

He nodded as she put the waffles into both of the openings on the top, and pushed down a lever. 

“The waffles will pop up in about a minute, but, um, that’s how you use a toaster.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem, but do you want, like, syrup or something?”

He did then grin, he loved maple syrup. Well, he loved sugar in general, but maple syrup was perhaps one of Midgard’s greatest creations. “Yes please.”

She nodded and grabbed the maple syrup out of the fridge, along with a plate from the cabinet beside it. She placed them onto the table and started gathering her things into a neat pile. 

While Jane was collecting her things Loki saw the waffles pop out of the toaster. He grabbed his plate and took both waffles and placed them onto his plate. He then sat down and opened the syrup and poured it all over the waffles. He picked one up and folded it so that the syrup stayed in the middle. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted a fork but it seems you don’t need one,” Jane laughed. 

Loki placed the waffle down, “Oh, do I require one?”

She shook her head, “No, I think you’re gonna get a lot of syrup on your hands though.”

He inclined his head as an answer and took another bite of his waffle. They sat in an awkward silence, Loki finishing his waffles. He put the syrup back into the refrigerator and the plate into the sink. 

“Hey Loki,” Jane called.

“Yes?” He answered, turning around.

“Are you alright? I mean, um, well…” she waved her wands around.

_‘What have you told them?’_ he asked the Infinity Stones.

_‘Only what happened,’_ Space answered.

_‘Which was?’_ he asked.

_‘That Thor is going to have a funeral and that Odin isn’t going to be a problem.’_

_‘You told them I killed Odin?’_ He panicked, if they had- 

_‘No, no, no, no,’_ Reality said, interrupting his thought, _‘We only said he fell into the OdinSleep and the Council members are ruling Asgard.’_

“Uh Loki?” Jane asked.

“Yes?”

“Oh nothing, you just seem to zone out a lot.”

He nodded, “I will attempt not to ‘zone out’ as much anymore. And to answer your previous question, yes I am fine.”

“You know if you want to talk about anything you can,” Jane offered. 

He paused, it had to be a trick of some kind. No-one would willingly listen to his grievances. 

_‘I do not want to speak for Jane, but,’_ Reality interrupted him, again, _‘I have been inside her mind, and she is genuine.’_

_‘It seems that you_ **_are_ ** _speaking for her,’_ Loki shot back. 

He turned back to Jane, “Thank you for the offer, but I am fine. And thank you for the waffles, they were quite enjoyable.” 

“Yeah, no problem. Darcy’s intern bought them, but he quit, and no-one else likes them so you can just have them.” 

Loki inclined his head, and walked out of the kitchen and back into the room he supposes he will call ‘his’. 

He glanced at the side of the wall, there was a bookcase he hadn’t noticed before. The bookcase was dark wood, with many multi-colored books lining the shelves. He walked over to it and ran his fingers along the spines. Many of them were about astronomy and astrophysics.

  
 _That must be what Jane is a ‘Doctor’ of,_ he thought, taking one off the shelf. He was quite curious to see how far Midgardians had gotten to understanding the Universe.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


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